She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
