I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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