i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
