i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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