Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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