what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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