Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
