Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
