If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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