I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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