guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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