WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
