we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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