I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
