Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
