I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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