this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
