Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
