So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
