so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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