Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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