It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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