his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
