dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
