I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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