You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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