May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even my vagina gasped.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
