i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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