The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i would punch a child for taco bell
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
