that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
