I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
