mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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