the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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