Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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