Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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