you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
