no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
