you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
