Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize