The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
