I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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