You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
