She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
