Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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