hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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