i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
