hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
