Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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