Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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