I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
