I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
