You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
