I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
