Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
