My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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