some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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