What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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