please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
