I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
