Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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