i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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