are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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