He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
