Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
