If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
