Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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