Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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