My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I am spending my child support on dildos
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
