Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize