i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
