I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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